Karaoke
by ToKeepFromGoingUnder
Summary: Cal and Gillian just broke up and Cal is forced to sing by Gillian... time to share his true feelings?


_**This is my NEW and IMPROVED thing. Please read this and ignore the other one because it was very suckish and i should NOT have put it up :( but i hope you like this one more**_

**.:.**

**Why was he doing this? Why had he come in the first place? Gillian could have made it on her own. She had Kevin. Why did he even waste his time coming. Oh that's right... this is his only chance to really express his feelings? Sure. But singing? He couldn't sing to save his bloody life. That was what he told himself, but he used to sing to Emily, and she seemed to love it. Maybe this was really the only way to get Gillian back, but karaoke wasn't really his style. What song was he going to do? He didn't know it. The DJ asked his situation and said he had the perfect one. What was his situation? He still loved her. He pretended like he was fie with everything, but really... it was killing him inside. The DJ perked up and said he knew just the thing.**

**Cal shrugged the uncomfortable feeling off of his shoulders and cleared his throat. He desperately held to the microphone. He glanced to Gillian who had a big smile on her face. Cal would have smiled back, but she was sitting next to Kevin, his arm around her. It made him sick. He looked to the DJ who was placing a CD into the big music box thing. How did Gillian get Cal to come?**

_"Oh come on Cal! It will be a blast! Kevin and I are going and I really want you to come!" Gillian said happily._

_"Did you forget?" He asked her._

_"What?"_

_"Your acting like nothing ever happened. Like we were never..." He whispered._

_"Oh come on Cal! That was the past! We are still best buds right?" She asked, letting nothing bring her amazing mood down._

_He stared at her and she winked, making him chuckle. "Course..." He said._

_"Oh please come!" She said again._

_"Fine... but I am NOT singing... karaoke is NOT my thing." He warned._

_"Oh we will see about that." She said, happily walking away._

**He stared at the bright lights that were in front of him. He clutched to the microphone, regretting ever coming. How did she get him to sing?**

_She held to Kevin as if there was no one else there, not even Cal, the man that she had loved just weeks before. The man that gave her everything but yet she seemed to forget he still loved her. He would never show it thought... ever._

_"Please Cal..." She begged him after begging Kevin for too long and seeing the irration in his face._

_"No." He said blankly._

_"Come on!"_

_"Why don't you get your cute little butt up there and sing?" He asked her with a chuckle, ignoring the worry stuck to Kevin's face._

_"Cause..." She said with an innoceny look on her face._

_"Oh puh-lease!" Cal said, shaking his head. __"I will do it if you do it." He smiled, knowing that she couldn't pass that up._

_"Only if you go first." She said._

_He shrugged and said, "Fine..." He got up and she clapped happily._

**He looked down at Gillian, happily talking with Kevin.**

**"Alright everybody!" The DJ yelled, calming the big crowd. "We got a new guy tonight!" He grabbed Cal's shoulder and lightly shook him. Cal chuckled and looked down at Gillian who was enthusiastically clapping with everyone else. "This is gonna be a slowwww song." The DJ said, talking really low.**

**"Shit..." Cal mumbled away from the microphone.**

**"Hey... no worries man." He patted Cal's back and said loudly into the mike, "ALRIGHT! Let's give him ONE more round of applause for good luck!" Everyone clappped again and he winked at Cal. He walked to the edge of the stage and started up the song. They were happy together? At one time? Right?**

_Cal smiled, his arm wrapped around Gillian shoulder._

_She laughed as Loker told a joke. He looked around the crowded room, full of presents, cake, candles, and people. He watched as everyone laughed and clapped and sang for Gillian. He smiled and nodded along, not really uip for singing. He just loved watching Gillian. He loved seeing how incredibly happy the was._

_"Cal?" She asked, snapping him back into now. He looked down and she smiled, "This is wonderful, thank you." She smiled and hugged him._

_"That's what I'm here for darling." He said, hugging her back and kissing her head._

_She pulled away and looked up at him. She held his face in her hands and leaned up, giving him a kiss._

_He kissed back and then pulled away, a huge smile on his face. He rested his forehead on hers and whispered, "They are all staring at us."_

_"I don't care." She said, smiling back._

_He nodded and kissed her again._

**Cal looked up at the screen as the words popped up. He shook his head and blushed at Gillian smiling face. He cleared his throat again and let the words fall off of his tongue, "My friends say... They're proud of me... for taking our break-up so... casually... but they don't see... what lies behind my smile..." He looked at the screen, thinking that it was explaining everything perfectly. He looked at Gillian who had a worried look at her face. Damn right she should! This song it directed to her! He made himself look at her as he continued to sing, forgetting how embarrased he was. He just wanted it to go through to her. "It appears... that I'm okay... that I moved on... when you walked away... but the truth is... since you said goodbye!" He could feel the song rushing through his body as he sang it. **

_Gillian walked into Cal's office, a hard look on her face._

_"Wot?" He asked, throwing his legs up onto his desk._

_"This isn't working." She whispered._

_"What isn't workin'?" He asked, confused._

_"Us. We work together and I don't think we should be together." She said, staring at the ground._

_"You can look at me love." He said to her._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It's fine. I was thinking that would be a good idea anyway." He whispered._

_"Oh really? T-That's great. We are still...?"_

_"Best buds." He said with a smile, altough it was killing him inside._

_"Great." She smiled and walked out._

_.:._

_"Wow... dude it's like nothing ever happened..." One of Cal's buddies, Kyle, said to him._

_"What are you on about?" Cal asked, taking another swig of his beer._

_"Didn't you just break up with your... long love er whatever?" Kyle asked. Cal nodded and frowned. "It's like... nothing even happened... I guess your a free man now, eh? There are plenty of pretty girls here that would love the Lightman Charm right about now... I'm sure they want to get into your pants-"_

_"Shut up Kyle..." Cal said, shaking his head with a smile._

_"Whatever man... just remember... you are a free man." Kyle patted his shoulder and took a drink of his beer._

**Gillian watched him sadly, knowing that he was singing this to her. She was amazed by his beautiful voice, surprised that he had hidden it for so long.**

**"I'm invisibly shaken and quietly breaking ... desperately taking one breath at a time... beneath this composure... I know it's over, but baby I'm dying cause you can't be mine!" He sang strongly, the emotions taking over his straight face. "But I will never show the toll its taken... cause I'm invisibly shaken..." He looked at her and watched as a small tear ran down her cheek.**

**He looked at the next lyrics and a sudden memory flashed through his mind.**

_Cal stared at the wall in his office sadly. he took a deep breath and looked at the door that was being opened. He saw Gillian and sat up, swinging to her direction in his chair._

_"Hey..." She whispered._

_"Yo..." He said with a small smile._

_She smiled back and sat down at his desk. "I don't know why I broke up with you Cal... we can still do this."_

_"No we can't." He said, worried that she would do this._

_"C'mon Cal..." She whispered._

_"No. I don't want to." He said firmly._

_"But Cal."_

_"You can't use me anymore..." He whispered, staring at her._

_"What?" She asked, totally surprised._

_"I would rather not try again." He said, staring at her with his cold hard eyes._

_"Ok..." She whispered, standing up._

_"Alright. See you later." He said._

_She nodded and stepped out._

_.:._

_"She asked for us to get together again..." Cal said to Kyle, rolling his fingers on the bar top._

_"You said yes right?"_

_"Nope..."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because if she actually loves me... she will ask again... if she doesn't... she will just give up now."_

_"That's deep man..." Kyle smiled. "So... if she doesn't come back?"_

_"I dunno..." Cal shrugged._

_"Don't you guys work together?"_

_"Yep..."_

_"That's gonna be awkward." Kyle whispered, drinking his beer._

**"If it looks... like I don't care... like it's not killing me seeing you here... and hearing you say... you wanna try us again..." He said, lightly smiling at how perfectly this song goes with what was happening. "Believe me... it ain't easy... being this cool... but too many times girl... I've been your fool... and I know I'd just end up here again..."**

**She silently cried as he sang the chrous again, as she saw how sad he actually was. "I'm invisbly shaken... quietly breaking... desperately taking one breath at a time... beneath this compsure... I know it's over, but baby I'm dying cause you can't be mine! But I will never show the toll it's taken... cause I'm invisibly shaken..." He stared at her, holding the mike in his hands, and took a deep breath, "Oh BABY I'm dying cause you can't be mine... But I... will never show the toll it's taken... cause I'm invisibly shaken..." He looked at her and then dropped his head. He heard the rumble of claps echo through the resturaunt. He got stepped down from the stage and the DJ ran out.**

**"THAT was truely amazing... great treat for us tonight... FILLED with emotion... THANK YOU man... you should come back again." The DJ smiled and watched him walked to his table.**

**Cal grabbed his jacket and looked at Gillian's tear stained face.**

**"Cal..."**

**"No... it's alright, I'm just gonna go..."**

**"Can't we talk about this?" She asked grabbing his arm.**

**"What do you want to talk about?" He asked her, pulling his arm away. She stood up and walked outside then turned and motioned for him to come too. ****He followed her out and stepped into the alley she was in. He fell back against the wall and stared at her. "Well get on with it." He said, staring at her.**

**"Was that all true?" She asked.**

**"God Gillian..." He said, shaking his head. "Damn right it's true! I loved you. I STILL love you. You just took me in and acted like you loved me. You kissed me like you ACTUALLY felt something there. I did." He whispered, "You hugged me and you held my hand and God I just love you so much Gillian. But then you just came and cut it off. What happened? I mean... everything was going great. I guess you just met Kevin and he was better than me. I guess you just wanted me to say you had somebody, to say that you were capable of getting a man. You just tore everything apart! You ruined everything! I never wanted us to end..."**

**"Then why did you say no?" She asked, tears streaming down her face.**

**"Because you would have used me again! You would have acted like you loved me until someone better came along!" He yelled sadly.**

**She stared at him and looked at the ground, "I'm sorry..." She whispered.**

**"No you're not. You are just sorry because I saw right through you." He said, staring at her. He took a deep breathe and kicked at a rock.**

**"Cal!" She said, raising her head. "I didn't know..."**

**"Whatever... I don't care any more. It's over." He turned around and ran a hand through his hair.**

**"Why did you hide it? Why did you hide the sadness?"**

**"I don't know. I guess I just really didn't want you to feel bad for me. Do you know?"**

**"What?" She asked.**

**"Do you know how hard it is to breath when I see you with him? I barely can... That song explains everything. I am breaking... I can barely do anything without thinking about how you and I were... how we could have been." His bottom lip trembled and he sighed, "You know that saying? If you love something... let it go... and if it comes back its yours... and if it doesn't... it never was?" She nodded. "Well you never came back." He whispered. "So I guess you never really were mine." **

**She looked at him and opened her mouth.**

**"No." He said, stopping her. "I am going to go home."**

**"But Cal-"**

**"Seriously." He whispered. He turned around and looked at her.**

**"Well..." She said.**

**He ran to her and gave her a long hug. He buried his face in her hair and took a deep breath. He pulled away and looked at her. "Goodbye Gillian." She grabbed his arm and let her hand slide off as he walked away. He ran a hand through his hair and finally pulled his coat on. **

**Gillian watched as he walked away. She wiped the tears from her face and walked back into the restuaraunt.**

_**THE END**_


End file.
